5 Ways To Support Your Trauma Survivor Friend

Why Is Trauma Repeatedly Relived?

1.   Unprocessed Emotions

Trauma Survivors often experience emotions associated with their trauma that remain tightly connected to the memory of the event. This means that the emotional response has not been fully processed or separated from the memory. As a result, they may find themselves reliving the event, feeling the same fear, sadness, or anger each time they think about it.

2. Intrusive Memories 

One of the hallmark symptoms of trauma and Post post-traumatic stress disorder ( PTSD ) is the presence of intrusive memories or flashbacks. These can occur unexpectedly and can feel as if the person is re-experiencing the traumatic event. This can lead to a cycle of repeatedly discussing the trauma as they try to make sense of their feelings.

3. Need for Validation

Talking about their trauma can be a way for individuals to seek validation and understanding. They may want their friends to comprehend the intensity of their experience, and discussing it helps them feel heard.

4. Coping Mechanism

For some, repeatedly discussing the trauma can serve as a coping mechanism. It allows them to express their feelings, which might be too overwhelming to hold inside. This process can be an attempt to gain control over the narrative of their experience.

Symptoms of PTSD

Understanding the symptoms of PTSD can help friends support their loved ones more effectively. Common symptoms include:

1. Intrusive Thoughts: Frequent, involuntary memories of the traumatic event, flashbacks, or distressing dreams related to the trauma. 
2. Avoidance: Efforts to avoid thoughts, conversations, places, or activities that remind them of the trauma. This can lead to withdrawal from friends and family. 
3. Negative Changes in Mood an Cognition: Persistent negative feelings about oneself or others, feelings of guilt or shame, and difficulty experiencing positive emotions. They may also have trouble remembering aspects of the trauma. 
4. Heightened Arousal: Symptoms such as irritability, anger outbursts, difficulty sleeping, and being easily startled or feeling tense. This can contribute to a constant state of vigilance and anxiety. 
5. Emotional Numbing: A sense of detachment from others, feeling emotionally flat, or not being able to connect with loved ones.

5 Ways Friends Can Help

1. Listen Without Judgment: Offer a safe space for your friend to express their feelings and experiences without fear of judgment or dismissal. 
2. Be Patient: Understand that healing takes time. Allow them to share their story as often as they need to and demonstrate active listening. 
3. Encourage Professional Help: Suggest that they consider therapy or counselling, where they can work through their trauma with a trained professional. They may not realise they need help. 
4. Educate Yourself: Learning more about PTSD and its symptoms can help you understand what your friend is going through a little better and be able to support your friend and explain why they keep reliving the event and emotions until they have completed their healing journey. 
5. Check In Regularly: Regular check-ins can show your friend that they are not alone and that you care about their well-being.

By understanding the reasons behind repeated discussions of trauma and PTSD, friends can provide meaningful support to their loved ones, helping them navigate their healing journey more effectively because
“yes they will go on about it until the trauma is processed and healed.“